Sunday, July 19, 2015

Fog

July has been good to me - my job is amazing (and, for once in my life, feels right), I turned 25 and went on a lovely road trip with my husband, and we purchased our first home.  I have never had more reasons to be happy.

And yet I haven't blogged all month.  I have barely volunteered.  I've even struggled to pick up a book and read.  I'm sorry.

I haven't kept my depression a secret on this blog.  I've even written about it (using some NSFW language - you've been warned!) multiple times on my other blog.  If you've experienced a depressive episode, you know how the past few weeks have been for me.  You're probably familiar with what I think of as "The Fog" - that feeling where you're walking through life like a zombie and everything is covered with that blurry film like in those allergy commercials.  It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it.  

It sucks.

"Why are you crying?!" my husband asks.

"I don't know," I sob ridiculously.  And the funny thing is, I really don't know!  I don't know why it's so hard to get out of bed or get into the shower.  I don't know why I forgot how to have fun, and I don't know how to snap out of this funk.

It's getting better, though, so don't worry - I promise there are upbeat posts in my future :)  The Fog is beginning to lift, and, hey, I am writing this post fully dressed, showered, and with makeup on, so...baby steps!

Thank you for being here <3


15 comments:

  1. Depression is so difficult - I'm glad the fog is starting to clear and hope the days ahead are sunny!

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    1. Thanks, Vicki - it has been much better for me this week :)

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  2. I can identify in so many ways. Just ask my therapist. So glad your fog is lifting. And there's no need to apologize. It's like apologizing for the flu. Or diabetes. You do what you can, and you make it through the day, and you start to get better. Here's wishing you clear sailing and sun-filled days ahead.
    --Wags (and purrs) from Life with Dogs and Cats

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    1. Thank you so much, Susan. I'm so glad you understand! Many of my loved ones think it's a "mood" or a "phase," rather than a legitimate illness. Which doesn't really help things, as I'm sure you can guess. :) Thanks again for the sweet comment!

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  3. Hi Y'all!

    So glad you're startin' to feel a little better.

    Y'all come on by,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

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  4. No need to apologize at all. :) I'm glad you're starting to feel better and coming out of the fog.

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    1. It's a relief, to say the least :) Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. I suspect that most of us have been stuck in the fog at some time. Hope it clears for you soon x
    Muffin sends licks xx

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    1. I think that many more people have struggled with depression than we realize. It's one of those "secret illnesses" that you'd never guess from looking at someone. Thank you so much for your comment!

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  6. I suspect that most of us have been stuck in the fog at some time. Hope it clears for you soon x
    Muffin sends licks xx

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  7. Oh, I can relate. I've suffered from depression my whole life. Things have been much better for me the last few years though. Finally found the right combination of meds, I guess. Chin up. Don't beat yourself up, and ride it out. All the best. Peace

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    1. I'm glad things have been better for you, Jeanne. Things have definitely been looking up for me this week :) I have a feeling I will probably be on medication for the rest of my life, but hey, if that's what it takes, I suppose! Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

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  8. I can relate to this. Very much so. I have suffered and am still suffering. My blog details how I got through difficult periods in my life and now that I am through those, it's time for what? Time for MORE! lol I am getting tough about changing my life. Know you are not alone! Glad we have connected!

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    1. You are actually one of the bloggers that inspire me the most - I see that you aren't afraid/ashamed to write about your depression, and it makes me less timid about posting things like this! I'm sorry your life has been so crazy busy lately, but the plans you talked about in one of your recent posts sound awesome. I wish I had your motivation! Thank you for reaching out :)

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