"Wait, did you...did you just say Daddy's leaving?"
"I'll just wait for him here, then. Until he gets back in eight hours. Okay? Okay, Mom? Also, stop reading books meant for children - you're like 25!"
"Did you just say Daddy's home?! Did you?! That bean dip smells good. Is that the door?!"
"Dad's home! Dad's home! I'll just lay here so you can't leave again, okay, Dad?"
"Kay, Mom, you can leave us alone now. Dad's home."
"What's that, Mom? You got bit by a dog and your mouth's all messed up? Okay, I guess...I guess I can lay with you for a little bit. ...That okay, Dad?"
"Kay, that was long enough. I'm back, Daddy! I'm right here! To protect you!"
"No, seriously, Mom. Leave us alone. We're good."